Inspiration
inspiration for december 6, 2006
improveverywhere inspires me. they are a new york city-based improv group who rediscover the fun of childhood. remember when you were little, and your mom took you to a store, let's say, and you were supposed to behave despite the boredom you felt? you needed to entertain yourself in your surroundings...and improv everywhere finds interesting surroundings, then plays. i love it.
here's one of their
"missions" (and one of my favorite) - the "Slow-Mo Home Depot":
check out their YouTube page and their official site. and find a way to play today (even if it upsets your boss)!
check back often for a new daily dose....
archives
november 27, 2006
forwarded to me by my friend, richie:
THE MAYONNAISE JAR
When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 cups of coffee.
A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.
The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.
The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous "yes!"
The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.
"Now," said the professor as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things--your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions--and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car. The sand is everything else--the small stuff."
"If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you. "Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness! Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first--the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."
One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."
november 21, 2006
today's inspiration is called, 'random guy on west 57th street'
i exited a building on west 57th street in manhattan and took a left, falling in step behind a guy smoking a cigarette. the guy was about 35 or 46 years old with a shaved head and wearing a black leather jacket and jeans. in his peripheral vision, he saw me come out of the building at the same time as he took a drag on his butt. as we walked, he turned to look at me, veered off to the right toward the curb, and leaning toward the street, he exhaled. it took a second, but i realized he was trying to make sure his exhalation didn't hit me in the face!
truthfully, the smoke wouldn't have bothered me - living in new york, i have grown used to strange smells and involuntary pollution - but i was blown away (no pun intended) by his courtesy! i said to him, "that was so nice of you" and his response was, "well, i hate it when i'm on the receiving end..."
after my encounter with this man, i found myself being overly nice, personable and consciously considerate towards everyone else on the street. i guess it's true, then, that one person's kindness can cause a domino effect, making the world a better place.
i challenge you to be nice to everyone you meet today, and tonight take stock and see how much better your day was!
november 17, 2006
please take just a moment and click on the image below to read the PDF...
today's inspiration is that we've come so far as a society from 1955, therefore, sometimes, it takes a while to achieve something, but if you are persistant, it will come.
and if you have read the pdf and don't understand what's wrong with it, please contact me immediately! i can help you! :-)
november 15, 2006
self-care. this is maybe the most important thing we can do in our day-to-day. self-care=taking care of ourselves. eating properly, not beating ourselves up, protecting ourselves emotionally and physically, doing things that make us feel good about ourselves.
the latter is near and dear to me. for some people, making them feel good about themselves means winning a trial or closing a big deal. for me, it means pampering myself. a hot bath with salts and bubbles. going out dressed to the nines, even if i'm just going to the grocery store. lighting a lovely insense and sitting in candlelight with soft music.
if pampering and luxury is part of your definition of self-care, then DO IT....today. take a hot bath after the kids go to bed. put on your favorite perfume for no reason. serve a bottle of champagne with your sloppy-joe dinner. if you take care of yourself, then you'll be better able to take care of those you love.
if you live in new york, here's a gift for you. print off this flyer and get an extra-super discount at the L'Oreal outlet store on fifth ave. this offer is only good for november 15 and 16, though, so don't delay. (it's also a good way to get your christmas shopping done!)
november 14, 2006
first of all, a big HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my good friend, Laura! I promise that this year is going to bring you so much happiness. xoxo
LAURA is my inspiration for the day. she is a great, loyal friend, a magnificent hostess and a bright ray of sunlight, no matter the forecast. she showed her strength this year when her mother, lillian, fell ill and laura found herself moving to florida to take care of lillian. it was a valiant fight, but lillian lost it and laura was there with her, holding her hand.
laura is strong and everyone knows it...but the one thing people may not know and that i never forget is that she's really very sensitive and delicate. oftentimes, a strong woman is seen as impenetrable and self-sufficient, where the truth is that we need to to be cared for and nurtured, too.
laura is an inspirational friend and daughter and i feel like i am a better person for knowing her.
who do you have in your life for whom you are grateful? who is your model for how to handle certain situations?
november 13, 2006
"pride means the end of wisdom." - japanese proverb
man is an ever-evolving, always learning being. we learn from our mistakes, we learn from others, we learn by reading and listening and observing things around us. each sensory stimulation is processed by our brains and our body or our mind learns something new. from the moment we are born to the moment we die, we have the ability to learn.
this quote touches on the fact that there are people who put themselves above all others, who think they know everything, belittle those who are perceived "lower" and who present themselves as infallible. it is these folks, in their disillusion, who are the least wise of them all.
if one convinces oneself he knows all, and cannot acquiesce, apologize or admit ignorance, than one will never learn another thing and the wisdom one might already possess is then rendered useless.
the best way to live, according to this quote, is open and receptive toward new information, new ways and new ideas. doing so will widen the scope of your current wisdom, and guarantee its future growth.
november 9, 2006
WHAT!??!! if you know me at all, or think you know me, or are trying to get to know me by reading my website, then today's inspiration might confuse you a bit. britney spears? but yes. bear with me folks and you'll understand...
whether it was forced upon her by her handlers, or if it was 100% her own decision, on tuesday, britney filed for divorce from kevin federline. since even before they were married, the media and other critics have bashed britney's choice of boyfriend/husband/father of her children. sure she was a popular and controversial topic for the media when she first emerged as a pop star, and her relationship with justin timberlake was front-page material. post-justin, her erratic behavior and bad-girl ways were fodder for the tabloids..and then there was her 55 hour vegas marriage and subsequent annullment...but the real turn came when almost immediately after that, she took up with kevin, her backing dancer and boyfriend of shar jackson, with whom he already had a child, and another on the way.
since the introduction of kevin, or KFed, as he named himself, britney's been depicted as spiraling out of control, as under kfed's thumb, as a sugar-momma for her man, as fat, as white-trash, as a bad mother and as a general train-wreck, to say the least. yet through it all, and amid all of the uninvited speculation, she stood by her man, having not one, but two children with him and telling matt lauer, on a cringingly embarrassing nbc primetime feature, that her marriage was solid. now, it seems, the truth comes out and the cracks are exposed, for despite the denials, she wasn't happy after all.
first of all, i want to congratulate britney on making the decision to leave kevin. i say this, not because i hate kevin or believe the gossip or agree with the critics, but because britney is taking a step toward happiness. in my experience, if one is unhappy in a relationship, one will either leave the relationship or one will stay in it, hoping the problems would somehow work themselves out and relationship bliss would be restored. while one is IN a relationship, outsiders can only speculate on the stability of the pairing and the happiness of those involved. speculate. some married couples stay together their entire lives even if the truth is that one party is gay, one party is having an affair, one party no longer loves the other, both parties felt pressured into getting married, and so on, and the excuses for doing so run the gammut of religious beliefs, to "for the sake of the children", to financial issues, to fear of being alone, to keeping up appearances, to sheer laziness, etc. unless you have been taken into the confidence of one half of a couple and told that things are good or bad, everything else is just speculation.
however, once someone steps away from a relationship, then it is clear that there was some element of unhappiness in the union. for britney to leave kevin shows her discontent in the marriage, and i hope, for her sake, that this is the first step for her toward starting over and recapturing her happiness.
relationships
under pressure
what i realized in the wake of this media-drama is that kevin
and britney's "chaotic" couplehood, though full of
hollywood money, hollywood glitz and teacup chihuahuas, isn't
really as far off from real life as one might think. if you
break it down, they were a young, impetuous couple, looking
to breakout on their own, admidst a whole lot of pressure. sure,
the pressure with them was fame-based - papparazzi, music charts
and award shows - but the whole situation could all be analogous
to any ordinary young couple, falling madly in lust, jumping
way too fast into marriage and parenthood in order to emancipate
themselves from their families and 'create their own lives',
only to discover that real life has pressures such as children,
finances, careers, economic factors, etc, and perhaps running
toward that so quickly wasn't such a good idea, especially with
someone who may not see things the same way. we all have similar
experiences, it's the circumstances that are different.
the truth is that the pressures of real life can seriously test the strength of a union. the number one argument topic for couples is money - not having it, not making enough, spending too much, planning for the future... then again, nothing's more real - or more trying - than having to care for a child, especially when time and energy resources are already over-extended. or what about the common situation where one half of a couple is being constantly hounded about how wrong the relationship is - "he's not good enough for you", "i don't trust her - she'll cheat on you", "what are you going to do? support him?", and "be careful - don't rush into anything"... the power of suggestion is very stong, as is the need to please those who are "just watching out" for us, but the power of doubt is even stronger, and it can be a slippery slope if we begin to doubt our partner - for whatever the reason. the teamwork necessary in a pressure situation really does require a bond stronger than lust or freedom or fun - it requires respect, comittment and willingness to work at it. kevin and britney didn't quite get there, even though they had millions of dollars, a dozen nannies, and all the time in the world to spend together and develop their relationship. what hope do we common folk, with our financial concerns, child care issues and long work days, have to make it? well, the one thing we all have is the chance to be honest, reframe our vision and try again.
the decision to end a relationship is never easy. there's usually a lot of thought involved, a few pro/con lists and a lot of inner tears. but if that nagging feeling that things are just not right won't leave you, then it's a choice that must be considered. the important thing to remember is that you will recover, you will find someone else, and you will be happy. just taking the step to exit unhappiness guarantees that you'll find happiness in the future - you obviously have the self-preservation instinct...
on a personal note, i have had to leave a couple of past relationships. i'm sure most of us have, but what i gained from it all was a very clear picture of what i wanted in a relationship. instead of seeing what came my way and flying blind, i set up some standards and boundaries that were made clear shortly after meeting someone with potential. this is something i plan on discussing in the near future on M-Powerment, so i'll leave it at that for now. just know that it is possible to attain the 'fairy tale' relationship you may dream about. i did. don't let people tell you the fairy tale doesn't exist, because i am proof that it does.
what
next?
what's next for britney and kevin? well, all i know is he's
seeking alimony and she wants custody of the kids. i predict
it will get messy. but eventually they'll move on to their next
phase in life...hopefully happier than they are today.
and what's next for you? that's in your control - you just have to figure out what it is that you really want.
november 2, 2006
there are a lot of life coaches who work with people on the topic of writing a book - they help them find the motivation, focus the plot and make them accountable for each chapter, moving ahead. i am not one of those coaches. in fact, i should probably retain the help of one of those coaches.
november is national novel writing month! now is your chance to write that tome you've always dreamed about. follow this link and find out more about the movement.
i have a few ideas for books - and i'm going to consider using this month's mission as a catalyst for making it happen! enjoy!
november 1, 2006
happy november! it's a new month...another chance to get one step closer to what you want. tony and i ordered chinese food the other night, and this was in my fortune cookie:
"energy is equal to desire and purpose"
this spoke to me because i interpreted it as saying that if there is something you really want, or something you truly believe in, you will have an endless supply of resources to fuel you forward in your pursuit. i needed to hear that. it was almost reassurance from the universe that i am on the right path.
i am so passionate about what i do - helping people, constantly striving to create the best life, trying to find happiness in everything, believing that everything will always work out in the end, knowing that every negative has a positive and that every mistake has a lesson.
this "fortune" reminds me that when things seem tough, trust your instincts and push through, for anything good and worthwhile will persevere as long as you believe in it with all of your heart.
happy halloween!
i
wanted to share this touching and inspirational film clip
with you...
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the
film decription written by YouTube.com
user, PeaceOnEarth123
is: In
this age of social disconnectivity and lack of human
contact, the effects of the Free Hugs campaign became
phenomenal. In the Spirit of the free hugs campaign, PASS THIS TO A FRIEND and HUG A STRANGER! After all, If you can reach just one person... Music by Sick Puppies. (Visit http://sickpuppies.net or http://myspace.com/sickpuppies for the music)" |
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consider yourselves hugged by me!
october 30, 2006
food!
as you can see in the archive below, in the past, my "inspiration" has been a quote, or a story, or even a video clip...today it's a dinner menu. sure, it may seem like a strange choice, but an easy, healthy, delicious meal is actually right in line with my mission for M-Powerment. my goal is to do anything i can to make your life easier and better - and be an every day resource to you.
i have a very busy day today, but tony is free tonight, so i'd love to take advantage of his night off, and have a nice meal together. so - this is the meal i am making tonight. as you will see, none of it is mine - but i have referenced the sources. i plan on prepping the pot roast this morning, before my work-day begins, and i will make the sides later, before we eat.
crock-pot
pot roast click
here to download the recipe PDF
by BeckyF
found on Recipe
Zaar (follow
link for recipe page including user reviews)
8-10 servings
time to make 5¾ hours 10 min prep
ingredients:
1 onion
2 cloves garlic
4 lbs rump roast
2 TEAspoons salt
(CAUTION: on the website and the
PDF, this measurement reads as TABLEspoon in error!!
TEAspoon is correct.)
1/4 teaspoon pepper
1/2 teaspoon dried rosemary
1/2 teaspoon dried thyme
3/4 cup red wine
3 tablespoons flour
1/4 cup water
1.
Chop the onion and the garlic.
2. Put the onions and garlic in the crock pot and set
the roast on the top.
3. Sprinkle with the salt, pepper, rosemary and thyme.
4. Pour in the wine.
5. Cover and cook on the High setting until the meat
is very tender aboout 5 hours.
6. Remove the roast to a serving plate.
7. Measure 2 cups of the cooking liquid into a saucepan.
8. Stir together the flour and water and stir it into
the cooking liquid.
9. Bring to a boil, stirring, reduce the heat and simmer
10 minutes.
10. Slice the roast and serve with the gravy.
spiced
crispy potatoes
click
here to download the recipe PDF
by Curtis Stone on TLC's
Take Home Chef (follow
link for recipe page)
serves 4
ingredients:
½ teaspoon/.5 g ground coriander seeds
½ teaspoon/.5 g ground cumin seeds
½ teaspoon/.5 g ground fennel seeds
½ teaspoon/.5 g dried red pepper flakes
½ teaspoon/.5 g ground paprika
½ teaspoon/.5 g ground turmeric
2 pounds/900 g fingerling potatoes (about 16)
6 tablespoons/90 ml olive oil
Salt
1. Place a medium sized saute pan over medium to high heat. Add the coriander seeds, cumin seeds and fennel seeds and stir for about 2 minutes or until the seeds are toasted and fragrant.
2. Transfer the seeds to a spice grinder and cool slightly. Add the red pepper flakes and pulse until the spices are finely ground. Pulse in the paprika and turmeric. Set the spice mixture aside.
3. Place a large pot of salted water over high heat and bring to a rapid boil. Add the potatoes and cook for about 15 minutes or until just tender when pierced with a skewer. Remove the potatoes from the water and place them on a work surface to cool for 10 minutes.
4. Using a small saucepan or flat-bottomed cup and working with one potato at a time, smash each a potato on the work surface. Place two large nonstick saute pans over medium-high heat then drizzle the olive oil over the hot pans.
5. Add the potatoes to the hot pans, dividing equally, and sprinkle the spice mixture over the potatoes. Cook for about 5 minutes per side or until the potatoes are crisp and golden brown. Season the potatoes generously with salt. Transfer to plates or a platter and serve immediately.
wine
i
will be using (and serving with the meal) don giovanni
bold merlot from silver
sprins winery in burdett, ny on the east coast of
lake seneca in upstate new york's finger lake region.
my boyfriend, tony, and i really love this area and
visit often to enjoy the country and to visit the many
vineyards in the region.
the don giovanni bold merlot is just that. bold. merlot is typically a very light wine, but i tend to prefer a richer, bod, dry taste in my red wines. this particular batch caters to all of my senses. plus, i think it will work wonderfully with the pot roast to add extra flavor. then to bridge the recipe by serving the wine with the meal will top it off wonderfully.
i encourage you to find a new, local wine that you enjoy. almost every state in the US has its own wine scene, so with a little research you can find your local vineyard - the smaller the vineyard, the more adventurous and rewarding the process. if you are able, i recommend grabbing a friend or your mate taking a trip out to the vineyards and touring and tasting - and buying those you like! what a fun, memory-making way to spend a day! or, find a nearby wine store and see if they carry a local selection. if you can't seem to find a store that carries your area's local wine, call a vineyard and ask. they know who is selling their wines and if there is no one, they are allowed to ship in-state without restriction. drinking locally has its rewards!
october 27, 2006
"eliminate
something superfluous from your life.
break a habit.
do something that makes you feel insecure.
carry out an action with complete attention and intensity,
as if it were your last." - piero ferrucci
since i know that the quote in itself is self-explanatory, i thought i might give you some insight as to the source of the quote. i don't know too much about piero ferrucci himself, but i do know that he was a student of the italian psychiatrist, dr. roberto assagioli and he was also a noted teacher and writer on the topic of psychosynthesis, a revolutionary theory in 20th century psychology.
dr. assigioli is credited as the founder of "psychosynthesis", a theory he developed after studying under freud. apparently, assigioli believed that helping a person went beyond analysis...instead of focusing on WHY someone did or does something, the focus shifts to making the person whole, or as ferrucci explained, emphasizing "the human being's potential for growth, expansion of consciousness, health, love and joy."(1) it is called psychosynthesis because it "insists on integration, or synthesis of various psychological functions in order to achieve the goal of healthy individual."(2) wow! pretty advanced for psychology at the time where the quest had been to determine the pathology of an issue and then expect the problem to unravel itself in that discovery alone. here, an element of humanity was being introduced as part of the solution
not surprisingly, the psychological community wasn't happy with this theory. perhaps it was the threat to the "tried-and-true" that set them on edge, i.e. the idea of 'we finally got the world to accept that what we are doing is the right way to do things, and now that someone is changing the rules, it casts a shadow on our credibility all along." this concern happens in many fields, where improvement or advancement is seen as a threat to the field as a whole.
the reason i wanted to write about the origin of psychosynthesis is because i see a lot of tie-ins with Coaching as a field. many therapists, psychologists, psychiatrists and similar doctors are opposed to the idea of coaching. the argument is that a coach is preaching amateur psychology and in doing so, have the potential to cause harm, therefore, if someone needs help, s/he should seek out a licensed therapist. however, my theory is that those in the psychological world who oppose coaching are in fact fearful that the general population might find a more logical, efficient and economical alternative to psychology in order to help them deal with certain aspects of life, and due to this fear of loss of revenue, have launched a campaign to discredit the industry.
the fact is, any legitimate coach has the duty to refer those clients in need of therapy to a licensed practitioner - it's a principle i am adamant about! however, as someone who has worked with therapists in the past, i can attest that not all of my obstacles in life have needed the aid of a therapist. in fact, i might have been better off, and have solved my dilemma sooner if i had known enough to seek a coach, instead.
i am not sure if the conflicts among theories, or among professions, or among colleagues will ever be ironed out. i just know that i stick to my guns about how i envision helping people and hope that in the sincerity of that, i attract those to me who need the services i have to offer.
(1)
taken from
"a few words about dr. assigioli" by piero
ferrucci
(2) taken from wikipedia
october 25, 2006
more SELF-ESTEEM 101 from Dove's CampaignForRealBeauty.com
i created a PDF of the Dove webpage that has tips & advice about how to make a difference when it comes to self-esteem - for yourself and others, including the next generation.
click on the graphic below to download the PDF. read it, print it, share it. changing the world's perspective starts with you. we all deserve to be seen for who we are.
evolution,
a film by Dove's Campaign For Real Beauty www.campaignforrealbeauty.com
whenever you think they're lying to you when they
say that models "don't really look like that
in real life," remember this film and love
yourself for what you are.
yay, dove!
october 19, 2006
"if you want to make a cart go, do you hit the horse or the cart?" - zen saying
translation: you will only solve a problem if you tackle that problem with logic.
if you stop for just one second and think about the solution choices for this problem, it will become crystal clear that hitting the cart will do nothing more than give you a sore hand. now, while i don't condone hitting an animal to make it do anything, it is obvious that since it's the horse that would normally pull the cart anyway, then the horse is your best bet!
the bottom line is that sometimes, in an effort to get something done "quicker", we overzealously grab onto the first idea of how to do it without thinking about what is the best or most logical way. if we took just a moment to think before jumping into something, more often than not we would come up with the right answer the first go-round, and in the end, reach our desired result sooner!
october 18, 2006
"if we have not quiet in our minds, outward comfort will do no more for us than a golden slipper on a gouty foot." - john bunyan
sure, a gouty foot is definitely not something that conjures up an image we'd like to hold on to for inspiration, but grant me a moment of your time, and i will prove how such a visual is necessary. necessary to permeate our understanding, necessary to imprint the message on our brains, necessary to keep the awareness going.
so if we break this quote up into two parts, the beginning talks about a quiet mind. what is a quiet mind in this context? well, it could mean a relaxed and stress-free mind, that doesn't spend it's time worrying and/or thinking of ways to fix life's problems. when our mind is working overtime as a way for us to deal with the obstacles of life, we can find ourselves submerged in even more chaos, fatigue and amplified overwhelm, all of which could make our day-to-day existence difficult, taxing and unbearable.
alternatively, and perhaps a bit closer to the meaning of this quote, a quiet mind could mean one completely secure in our lives and our choices. a quiet mind could be the result of following our instincts and our hearts in decisions such as our career paths, our love lives, our child-rearing, etc. it could be caused by feeling confident in the paths we have chosen, or if not fully confident in the path, then at least a belief that the journey will work itself out at the destination. a quiet mind can find it's peace in the present, not in the regret of the past or the fear of the future. a quiet mind is a happy and healthy mind, the downtime of which allows for growth of creativity, prosperity and advancement.
now back to that gouty foot thing (sorry, but you knew we had to go back there....). what could bunyan mean about a 'golden slipper on a gouty foot'? well, if you use something beautiful to cover something ugly, the ugly thing still exists, it's just temporarily covered until the slipper comes off. similarly, the toxic and deformed foot wouldn't do justice to the beauty of the perfect shoe, moreover, the shoe would probably cause even more pain than usual, having to squeeze around the irregularity of the foot.
So putting it all together, my interpretation of this quote is that until we have reached a point in our lives where we feel comfortable in our skin and confident in our choices - and our ability to make those choices - nothing will satisfy or complete us or put our restlessness at ease...not a fancy car, not a diverting game, not escapism in alcohol, television or sleep..nothing!
in the end, we need to take some time out of our busy lives and think about what we need to do in order to quiet our minds. otherwise, we'll always have that gouty foot getting in the way of everything.
october 17, 2006
IF
TUESDAY, OCTOBER 17TH, IS YOUR BIRTHDAY
"The more
others try to convince you that you need
to get organized the more you should take
life as it comes. You've seen the unhappy
faces on those who live a regimented existence
and you know it is not for you. Who cares
about money, possessions and success? Live
in and for the moment this year."
yes, today is my birthday! while i don't necessarily read the New York Post on a regular basis, nor do i put more than a grain of salt in the guarantee of a horoscope, it is something of a tradition for me to consult the tabloid on my birthday for the the "day of" horoscope.
i like to think of horoscopes the same way i think of poetry and religion - as some interesting words strung together, that are open to interpretation based on me, my life and my experiences. so, what does the above "prediction" mean to me in my life?
ironically, there could never be a more appropriate quote to speak to me. basically, it is saying, live the life you think will make you happy, not the life others want for you. this ideology is also the first guiding principle that i endow upon my clients.
another thing i believe in, that i share with my clients, is that the universe will give you everything you need, just when you need it, i.e., if you need money, you will find some...if you lose a client, you will gain another...if one relationship ends, another will begin. at this moment in my life, there is nothing more that i needed than a subtle reminder, superficial or not, that i am making the right moves in my life.
as you might know from reading my bio, i spent a long time following a path in life with which i was never fully comfortable but which i thought was expected of me. i was expected to follow up my summa cum laude collegiate career with a good job in an impressive field, making a lot of money, or at least having the potential to do so. once this was achieved, i was also expected to settle down in marriage with an equally, if not more, successful partner and move off to the suburbs to start the family that i would drive around in the SUV. or something like that. after all, my friends and family might have their ideas as to what sort of life i should live, but no one was tyrannical or stringent in the exact vision - they just wanted "the best" for me because they "love me".
while i always appreciated their care, i nonetheless found myself spending a lot of time and energy convincing them that the vision i had for myself was OK, too, despite the fact that it differed from the one they had for me. eventually and reluctantly, my loved ones relented in their persuasions in response to my plea to let me follow my instincts and create the life i thought would give me happiness and fulfillment, saving me from the "unhappy faces on those who live a regimented existence".
long ago, i identified my passion for getting to know people and for helping others. then i read the first of many things i've read that that say that those who spend their lives doing what they love, live the fullest and best lives possible. i wanted to live that kind of life. i wanted to help others create that kind of life for themselves. one day, the break came and i could no longer work in an area that paid well, but gave me no satisfaction. i could no longer live someone else's life. i couldn't let myself push my dreams off one more day out of fear - both of what others would think and of failure. it was this day that M-Powerment was born.
looking ahead to the year in front of me, i hope to continue the daily struggle. by "daily struggle", i mean the beautiful process whereby i remind myself what i am doing, where i forge ahead because i believe in myself and my vision and protect myself from all forms of doubt, where i remember that "money, possessions and success" really aren't the most important things in life, especially when compared to happiness, self-fullfillment and the amazing feeling of helping someone else.
thank you for helping me to live my dreams. i hope one day, in some way, i can help you do the same.
october 11, 2006
"thank god for the things that i do not own." - st. teresa of avila
well, this is pretty self-explanatory. basically, it is a quote that rejoices in the lack of excess and the joy of simplicity. it's true that a simplified life - stripped of gratuitous material possessions, as well as unnecessary emotional baggage, unwanted hardships and ancillary complications - is undoubtedly an easier life, the question remains, "how does one create a truly simplified life?"
no matter how idealistic and philosophical we can get, the fact is that most of us are regular human beings trying to survive in a complex, modern world. St. teresa lived in cloisters and convents from 1534 until her death in 1582 (timely enough, she is thought to have dies sometime between october 4th and 15th, and her feast is celebrated on october 15, but i digress...). the point is that not only did St. teresa utter these profound words over 400 years ago in medieval europe, she was also living a sheltered life of martyrdom with no one to account to but god and being supported by the catholic church. perhaps St. teresa's ideology is easier said than done.
the world today is crazy and fast and unpredictable with no guarantees. some of us live on adrenaline, dealing with life as it comes at us without a specific plan, without the time to stop and create a strategy to cope with the complications. as a result, some of us turn to un-simple things in order to cope. we buy things we don't need and sink ourselves into debt, we eat out of stress instead of hunger, we drink or turn to drugs to escape reality, we work insane hours at the office in order to avoid bad relationships at home, we live in anger and treat others poorly because we are unhappy inside. we create extra layers in our lives in order to insulate ourselves from things we cannot process - and in doing so, we complicate our lives.
i am a huge believer in "baby steps". experience has proven to me that one tiny change, successfully executed, can create a confident momentum of one small change after another - the snowball affect. in the end, you may find that lots of small changes create a huge shift that brings wonderful things into your life.
for example, let's say you want to buy a house - everyone needs a place to live, plus, it's a great investment. trouble is, you don't have the money to do so. some people would give up right there saying, "i'll never have enough money for the downpayment, so why bother?". but instead, you realize you need to start saving money. first, you decide to start by bringing your lunch to work instead of spending $5+ each day at the deli. well, the positive feeling you get from knowing you have an extra $25+ each week might inspire you to make another moneysaving change in your life (instead of going out to a loud bar and spending $10 on each watered-down drink, invite a friend over one night and share a $10 bottle of wine over conversation and the new episode of your favorite tv show; instead of going shopping for new clothes, look in the back of your closet and rediscover something you forgot you had; give yourself a facial at home instead of hitting the spa; etc). now that you're seeing substantial progress in your savings, you become inspired and look for other ways to grow your nest egg. driven by the momentum of these small steps, you talk to your HR director about depositing a certain amount of money from each paycheck into a separate money market account, and you clean up your credit by calling your creditors and canceling any credit cards you don't really need, including all of those store-specific cards, and limit yourself to one credit card with a reward program and a low apr. and so on and so on. pretty soon, you're ready to apply for pre-approval for a low fixed-rate mortgage and hire a realtor to help you find the perfect house that will satisfy your personal and investment needs. suddenly, voila! you are a homeowner. and it all began by brown-bagging your lunch!
it's really a matter of prioritizing what is important to us versus what we want and then creating healthy habits, baby-step by baby-step, until we achieve those things that are important. once you exercise your newfound habits for a while, you will be amazed at the results. sometimes, sacrificing life's extras and stripping down to the basics is what gives you the things that life is all about. if you take just a moment to think about it, we don't really need that much in order to live, and live well. designer jackets and chocolate cake and martinis and exotic cars are fun and indulgent, but they may set you back in another area - finance, physical health, mental health, relationships, etc.
in the end, it really is the simple things in life that truly matter.
recommended reading: (click
on link to purchase)
Simplify Your Life: 100 Ways to Slow Down
and Enjoy the Things That Really Matter
this
little book (and it is little) discusses
the idea of stripping down your life and
gives you 100 ways by which to do so.
it's true that some of the ideas are a
bit hokey for my taste ("assign one
towel and one washcloth per person per
week" in order to cutdown
on laundry), some are a bit of a stretch
("replace your lawn with ground clover"
in order to not have to worry about landscaping),
and some seem unpractical and downright
anti-social ("get rid of your car",
"get rid of your phone" (with
a seperate chapter on getting rid of your
cellphone and one entitled, "don't
answer the doorbell, either"), avoid
"such activities as movies, plays,
theatre, opera..." etc., in lieu
of "watching a sunset...taking a
nap...sitting quietly in a favorie chair
and doing nothing". regardless, the
book has some great ideas. even the not-so-great
suggestions will get any creative mind
thinking of suitable adaptations. the
sheer fact that you pick up the book is
one of those "baby steps" toward
a more simplified life. - melinda zupaniotis
october 10, 2006
"to understand the heart and mind of a person, look not at what he has already achieved, but what he aspires to." - kahlil gibran
i love this quote, for it sums up so many of my beliefs. first and foremost, it alludes to not judging a book by it's cover, i.e. not assuming you know who a person is by the sheer facts. for instance, that man who speaks in broken english and works at a factory just might be paying his way through medical school with the desire to eventually run a department in a hospital - and one day, he might even save your life. that young secretary in your office might have dreams of being CEO one day - and she just might achieve it! the intelligent and soft-spoken college professor who lives down the street may be plotting to destroy the world, while that acquaintance you have who is a high-powered lawyer, who seems self-absorbed and stuck-up might volunteer on the weekends at an animal shelter and hope to one day run her own nonprofit shelter. the point is, you never know what someone is really like until you learn what they see as their calling in life. when you have a better idea of what someone holds as their priorities - family, helping others, power - only then can you judge what they are really like.
alternatively, i am drawn to this quote because of the emphasis on "aspirations". i love dreamers and i believe everyone should have a dream. i also believe that once a dream has been realized (or defeated) that another one should take it's place. therefore, a i believe a person shouldn't rest on his or her laurels and bask in the glow of achieving a dream - he or she should take stock and develop another one, ideally bigger and better than the last, and keep moving upward in his or her life. For instance, if one's dream is to run a marathon, and this goal is accomplished, then after the celebration, one may decide to do a triathlon, or to climb a mountain or even to write a book teaching others how to train for a marathon...it is that "aspiration" to continually keep one's life moving forward and upward that makes life interesting!
october 6, 2006
"from the moment we cease trying to swim upstream and begin to flow with the current, something changes within us." - arthur sokoloff
what i take from this is the idea that when we give up the attempt to do something risky, against the grain or out of the norm, and chose to simply follow the rules of the world, we put ourselves at risk for unhappiness and unfulfillment. if we think about the "risky", "against the grain" or "out of the norm" thing as a "dream" (a perfect relationship, a business venture, a career as a rockstar), then i believe it's important to keep that dream alive. after all, a dreamer dreams and once those dreams are abandoned, the potential exists for a life of regret, for what is a dreamer without a dream.
as an example, i had a client whose goal was to be a famous actress. sure, many people have this dream, and as we know, only very few actually attain it, but this woman was serious about achieving this goal. she had great training, rare talent, amazing committment and true belief in herself, however, her family and friends constantly reminded her about the difficulty of the entertainment industry. despite the unending interference from others, this actress plugged away at her goal, doing mailings, appearing in shows, networking, meeting with agents. her father wished she had the 'security' of a 'real' job with benefits and a 401(k). her mother wanted her to get married and have babies and live in a nice house in the suburbs with a dog and a husband who did very well for himself financially and take a yearly cruise to bermuda. her sister, who had done just what her mother wanted, told her stories of how wonderful life was according to mom's plan and wouldn't that be easier than struggling her whole life? even her friends and peers constantly complained about the day-to-day struggles that life presents and 'in her best interest', they couldn't bear to see such a 'smart' and 'pretty' girl waste her life chasing a dream that is impossible to achieve.
so what did she do, this gifted actress with a childhood dream in a naysaying world? after years of being bombarded with 'wisdom' from those who 'cared about her', she gave in. her friend set her up with a job in public relations with a good salary and health insurance, she met a financial advisor at a dinner party and got married, they moved to connecticut and had 2 kids (and a dog) and once a year, they take a vacation to some exotic locale and sit on a beach for a week.
she got everything her mother wanted for her. she set her father's mind at ease. she loves her husband and her kids...but she's missing something. while she's living the dream everyone else had for her, she misses HER dream. she knows that she gave the acting thing a shot, but if she'd been more resistant to the pressures of the world, she'd have worked at it harder and longer. she sees her old friends on TV once in a while...she can't bear to go to the theatre or to the movies because it's a reminder to her that it could have been HER up there. she told me that she would be able to accept her choices better had she really given the venture her all...if she had taken the journey to end where she either achieved the recognition she wanted or reached the end of the line and had to find another dream. it is the idea that she just "abandoned the dream" that left her wondering "what if"...
therefore, i encourage all you dreamers to go out there and chase your dreams with gusto. take it to the end and see what you might be able to achieve. isn't a baseball game more exciting when someone steals 3rd instead of playing it safe and staying on 2nd? make that your life - steal 3rd. the worst that could happen is that you are tagged out - but chances are, there will always be another game the next day in which you will play.
october 5, 2006
"things won't 'just happen'...YOU have to MAKE it happen. no one else will."
for this, you will need to think outside the box, take risks and forge your own path. what do you do everyday that you could do better or differently? this could be your key to succes....
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2006 M-Powerment. all rights reserved. privacy
policy
Tel.
(718) 701-1061
Tel.
(718) 701-1061